The Rainbow Alliance

Gordon Brown is spending the weekend at home in Scotland. This is symbolic – yesterday The Sun’s front page called him ‘the squatter at No. 10’. 10.7 million people voted Conservative, so Brown could do without pictures of him cheerfully coming in and out of Downing Street. In fact, Brown could do with everyone forgetting about him for a while.

Houses are very important at the moment. Every news bulletin seems to feature either Cameron or Clegg arriving at or leaving their London homes. We know, for example, that David Cameron eats Hovis’ granary loaf – can you imagine how he must have agonised over which bread to be photographed holding? I’m surprised that he didn’t have a focus group of marginal voters assembled in the newsagents with him. He must also have been hoping that he picked the same loaf as the Clegg family. ‘We like that, don’t we? You can trust a man who eats a Hovis granary loaf.’

Gordon Brown is removed from all of this, aloof or sidelined, depending on your view. But there is more to his removal to Scotland than meets the eye. The Conservatives are the fourth party in Scotland. By going home, Brown is entering a Labour stronghold. He is also showing voters outside of the South of England that he shares their frustration.

If you combine Scotland, Wales, the North East and the North West of England, the Conservatives hold 33 seats to Labour’s 139. The idea that the Lib Dems (20 seats in this region) redress the balance must seem ludicrous. It must be frustrating to have voted in these regions and to watch the losers forming a Government. It must seem as though a Con-Lib pact is a coalition for the South.

But, of course, the reverse is also true. A Labour-led coalition would require the Lib Dems, the SNP, Plaid Cymru and the liberal block from Northern Ireland to command a majority. The only area not significantly represented would be the South, where Labour barely exists outside of London. For voters across the South the idea that there was no conclusive outcome must seem like madness.

The term ‘balanced parliament’ seems appropriate. On one side you have the North, and fairly evenly lined up against them, you have the South…